The aim is not happiness, it's depth.


Often in the wellness and personal development space, you’ll hear quotes such as “Happiness is a choice. If you’re not happy, choose again”, or “You’re the creator of your life, create a life that makes you happy.” Whilst, to some extent I agree with these statements, I’ve found that the constant focus on being happy or in a positive state can generate an enormous amount of pressure. In times of illness, growth or stress, I’ve often felt the frustration of ‘not being happy’- if I know all the strategies, mediations, mantras and have all the resources, surely, I should be happy all the time right?


This way of thinking can also lead to comparison when, in times of feeling less than, we log onto social media to see others posting about their happiness and joy. As human beings, it’s not in our nature to be in a constant state of joy. And if we know that lessons, and personal growth come from hardships and times of adversity- wouldn’t continuous happiness lead us to feel stagnant?


I’d been pondering (don’t you love that word?) this concept for a while when I started listening to The Wellness Project Podcast with Claire Obeid yesterday. She was interviewing Psychic and Modern Mystic, Belinda Davidson, and they were chatting about our chakras, living in flow and accepting life as it is in the present moment when Belinda dropped this absolute #truthbomb…


“The aim is not happiness, it’s depth.”


Ahhh, what a way to realise the pressure. The weight on my shoulders instantly lifted, and I felt as if I had permission to feel. Not to live in search of happiness and constant joy, but to ride the waves of depth that are our lives. If our aim in life is depth, then we are always on our path. We can venture into the depths of grief and sorrow knowing that we are there on purpose, instead of thinking we have made a mistake and are doing it ‘wrong’. We can embrace the mediocre days where we feel as if we are going through the motions because we know that ‘this too shall pass.’ We can ride the highs and enjoy those moments of bliss because we have felt the polarity and can appreciate the joy so much more.


I know that this way of thinking is going to serve me greatly from now on, and I believe that if we all adopted this paradigm shift, the amount of self-pity and comparison we feel would dramatically decrease- leaving space for acceptance and simply being. So, I invite you to shift your focus too. Let’s move away from the notion that happiness is the only goal, and explore the depths of life with the knowing that everything we experience will serve us in some way. What do you think? Are you with me?


With gratitude and love,




P.s. If this post resonates with you please share it with other beauties in your life who might benefit also. You can also send me an email at and we can chat! 



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