Recently, I started to experience some pretty intense emotions. There was no reason as to why I was feeling this way, but that didn’t make the heaviness in the pit of my stomach any less real. So often when we begin to feel this way, we either suppress or deny what it is coming up. We would prefer to feel happy instead and so we choose to ‘spiritually bypass’ it by slapping an affirmation over the top and visualizing how we would prefer our day to pan out. We consider it an inconvenience and we wait to deal with it another time. Yet, there is no convenient time and sooner or later, the hard stuff ends up popping up again.
This time, instead of opting for the route of negation when I first felt these darker emotions, I instead chose a different method and boy was it powerful! It may seem counter-intuitive and you may question if it will work for you, but I encourage you to follow the four steps below next time you start noticing any strong emotions bubbling up.
1. Feel it
You may have heard the expression ‘You’ve got to feel it to heal it.’ I’m here to tell you guys that it’s true- suppressed emotions only manifest in other ways, whereas emotions that are acknowledged and felt can release and be moved through. So, give yourself some time and space. Sit down and after taking some deep breaths, begin to notice where you’re feeling these emotions in your body. For example, you might think to yourself ‘There’s a knot in my stomach’, or ‘My jaw is tense’, or ‘My brow is furrowed.’ There’s no need to create a story out of these feelings, simply notice them and let them pass over you like a wave.
2. Be compassionate
Experiencing intense emotions doesn’t make you weak, and it certainly doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. You’re a human, having a human experience. This is the time to show yourself some love and com
passion, both mentally and physically. This might mean telling yourself that you are strong and capable. It might mean running a warm bath to soothe your body physically. Give yourself the space to feel what you need to feel, and be gentle on yourself. This too shall pass.
3. Mine for gold
This is where the magic happens people! This is where the growth and lessons are. Once you have felt the physical sensations start to dissipate (this could take 10 minutes, a day, a week- however long it needs to), begin to look for the message that your body was attempting to tell you. Your body is always trying to communicate with you, and now is the time to listen to what it’s been trying to say. Maybe you’re needing to slow down and tune in. Maybe you’re neglecting some essential self-care. Whatever it is, be open to learning from it and growing.
4. Seek support when needed
Sometimes we aren’t able to process things alone. Sometimes we need the support of another to help us through. This might mean contacting a partner or family member to chat about what you’re experiencing. It might mean enlisting the help of a coach. It could mean hiring a counsellor or therapist. Asking for help is a powerful action, and one that we all need to do at different points in our lives.
I hope that these steps have been supportive and helpful for you, whether you’re currently experiencing heavy emotions or as tools for your personal development toolkit. I went live in The Authenticity Arena Facebook Group this week on this exact topic, so if you’d love a more in depth explanation of these steps, head over there now to check it out!
Ifyou’d like some support to move through a tricky situation in your life, I’d be honoured to be your coach. In my work, I support young women to understand the story of their lives, embrace their innate authenticity and take back authorship. Simply click this link to book a Complimentary Clarity Call and we can get started!
With love and gratitude,