What the f**k am I doing?!
This is the most common phrase that has been poppin’ into my little noggin’ recently. That, and some other pearlers such as:
*’Who do you think you are?’
*’A blog, seriously? ‘
*’You haven’t even studied this shit, what makes you qualified?’
And my personal favourite…
‘People are going to think you’re weird. Better just stop now.’
Ever since I decided that I was going to start a blog to share all of the things that I’ve been learning about self-love and personal development, this is the broken record of thoughts that have been spinning around up there. I get so goddam nervous when I tell people about my intentions, and I’ve gotten pretty good (read: terrible) at predicting their reactions and their thoughts about me as a person.
The reason why I don’t ‘just stop now’ and have essentially gone ahead with this ol’ bloggy is because it isn’t about me at all. Hearing the stories of others, and connecting with people who have gone through similar situations has been SO helpful for me in the past and from speaking to friends and family, I know it is for them too. We are all human and we all come up against shit that we have to deal with, and knowing you’re not alone is so refreshing and freeing.
About 6 months ago, I had been reading about how it can be helpful to create a mission statement for your life; a sentence or phrase that gives rise to your purpose as a means to guide you in your decision making and choices. At first, I was a bit intimidated by this. How can you sum up your PURPOSE in life in just a few words? I thought I’d give it a go anyway, and it turned out to be the easiest and most free flowing thing I’d ever done. It just seemed to jump out onto the page and I knew that this was it. My purpose is the following:
‘To be my beautiful authentic self, and to serve others by inspiring them to do the same.’
Hence, whenever I find myself all strung up on what the inner critic voices in my head are saying, I remind myself of my purpose. (It’s a bit hard to forget when it’s stuck on your mirror, in your shower, on your steering wheel and on your desk at work…) My purpose is to serve others, and so this blog makes total sense. And so does teaching, and so does my decision to study coaching. It’s all aligned and it all makes sense.
So now when I hear those words ‘What the fuck am I doing?’ I can stand up tall and speak clearly and proudly when I say that I’m doing exactly what I need to be doing, thank you very much.
With gratitude and love,
P.s. Tag, you’re it! I’ve shared, now it’s your turn. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if this post resonated with you and you want to connect.